Melinda – love, sex and guilt

Posted in Sex & Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , on 2009/10/29 by Nils

(Contains descriptions of sex)

Continued from last time…

Melinda looked up at me. She must have seen something in my eyes. She smiled at me and paused. I did too. She seemed to be waiting for something to happen. After a few moments she started to turn away but I grabbed her by her elbows and moved her back in front of me. I pulled her up toward me and kissed her.

By now she had the robe over her shoulders but it was hanging open. I was fully clothed but I was bumping up against her naked front.

The first kiss felt a little awkward. I looked down at her and she had her eyes closed, waiting to be kissed again … so I did.

We kissed some more, standing in the middle of the room. If I’d been given such an obvious invitation from another girl I’d probably be inside her by now. This time, however, I was confused. I wanted Melinda sexually. She was attractive and funny and even a bit sassy. But she was something like the sister I never had. As I said in my last post, I had a feeling that I was on the road to something almost incestuous. In hindsight those feelings were absurd and counterproductive.

I was, don’t forget, a 20-year-old full of testosterone. My confusion was quickly overtaken by my desire for sexual healing. We were soon kissing passionately.

The room was already sexually charged. Melinda had been naked for ninety minutes so much of the formalities of a first sexual encounter seemed unnecessary. I opened up her robe and put my hand over her breast. Each were as wide as my hand and I cupped them both. I was getting near the point of no return.

I got down on one knee so that I could more easily work on her breasts. As I was sucking one of her nipples I heard the robe fall to the floor and I knew she was naked again. I reached around back and grabbed her ass cheeks.

Melinda was generally fairly talkative. And we had talked a lot during the photo session, partly, I think, to overcome our nervousness. But now we were both nearly silent.

After caressing her ass more she gently pushed me away and said, “it’s not fair. I’ve been naked all this time. Now it’s time for you…” Melinda leaned down, grabbed my t-shirt and started pulling up on it. She pulled me to my feet and then she reached down and unbuckled my belt and unbuttoned my pants. I just stood there.

Melinda then got on her knees in front of me and unzipped my pants, pulled them down and looked at the growing bulge in my cotton briefs. She reached forward and put her hand on it and grasped my erection through the fabric. I said, “OH, MY” as she rubbed her hand on my cock.

She pulled the elastic away from my waist and pulled it down over my penis allowing it to spring forward. She pushed my briefs to the floor and grabbed my dick again. She stroked it a few times. I think she was contemplating sucking it … but she didn’t. She stroked it a few more times. My penis was as hard as it was going to get.

I knelt down  in front of her and put our arms around each other and were kissing again. My hands started to roam her body, exploring a bit more this time. Despite our heightened state of arousal I was hesitant to reach for her pussy. That was really getting to a level I hadn’t anticipated.

As I grabbed her ass again I allowed my fingers to linger around her asshole. She moaned ever so slightly.

I laid her on the floor and got next to her, kissing some more. I started to think that it was about time I moved things along a little so I slowly moved my hand down her body. I finally found her clitoris and began manipulating it very gently. I ran my fingers over her opening. I felt a hint of wetness but I didn’t put my fingers inside her. Something held me back.

As I was reaching between Melinda’s legs she was reaching between mine. She had a firm  grip on my penis and was gently stroking up and down.

I couldn’t wait any more. Despite my reservations I needed to get inside her. I got up and went over to my dresser. Melinda said, “what’s wrong, why did you stop?” Then she saw that I had retrieved a condom.

“Oh, Nils. I know you want to do that, but, like I said, I’m a good Catholic girl. We can have some fun but don’t put it inside me. I don’t want to go that far.”

With any other girl I would have been hugely disappointed. This time I wasn’t. “OK, just lemme know if I start doing something you don’t like,” I said.

We embraced on the floor again and rolled around together as we kissed. As I lay on my back she started stroking my penis again. But the mostly dry friction was a bit too much. I wasn’t ready to cum just yet so I stopped Melinda and rolled her on her back.. I kissed her breasts and sucked her nipples again. I wanted to eat her pussy but I was still hesitant to go to that level. I spent some time playing with her clitoris and massaging her labia. I didn’t, however, stick my fingers in her vagina. If she didn’t want me to violate her with my penis I thought that she may not want me to use my fingers either.

So I continued in that vein for about ten minutes until Melinda started writhing around while moaning loader and loader. Finally she arched her back and twitched a number of times as she tried to quiet her sequels. As my right hand continued to work her she grabbed it, pushing it into herself but keeping me from moving any more and held on until she stopped trembling.

After calming a little I spread Melinda’s legs and said, “I promise I won’t get inside you.” I got between her legs in a faux missionary position. We started kissing again and I started to grind my penis into her  pubic hair. It wasn’t real sex but was still exciting. I realized that my balls were rubbing and slapping into her clitoris. I picked up my pace and it didn’t take long. The friction on my dick pressed between us was greater than it would be inside a slippery, wet vagina.

I was up on my arms as I ground into her and she looked up at me. I closed my eyes and moaned loudly as I squirted my cum all over Melinda’s stomach. She pushed up into me and as I came, the cum created a slippery, sticky ooze between our stomachs.

She wrapped her legs around my ass and pushed up into me some more. “that’s nasty,” Melinda said, “but I like it.” She pushed up into me more trying to get a bit more action from my balls rubbing her clitoris.

It felt good but I almost immediately felt a wave of guilt pour over me. After I came while having sex with Kari I felt tremendous pleasure, exultation, love and even a touch of triumph, but no guilt. Why did this feel different? I certainly felt love for this girl. But even after having something like sex with her something didn’t seem quite right.

We recovered a bit. I brought back a damp wash cloth back from the men’s room so Melinda could clean herself a bit. I did the same and then we got dressed and went over to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

Again we didn’t say much but then I guess the cafeteria wasn’t the best place to discuss our first sexual encounter.

Melinda – a different kind of love

Posted in Sexual history with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on 2009/10/23 by Nils

Time to get back to some of my sexual history. I get a big kick out of writing about the girls I’ve had sex with and readers seem to like the stories — they get a decent number of hits anyway.

My last, great sex story was about my first lover, Kari, the spring of my freshman year in college. After a relatively late start I thought my love life had finally begun. I didn’t count on the sophomore slump.

I’m sitting here trying to remember what I did sophomore year. I definitely didn’t have a girlfriend. And I certainly didn’t come close to having sex with anyone. I guess I might have gone out a couple times but nothing much worked out.

Junior year started with a bang — literally. The weekend before classes started I was visited by Ruth, a girl I’d known from my dorm the year before and had gone out with once. She showed up at my room that first weekend proclaiming her great affection for me. I told her I wasn’t really interest but one thing lead to another and before I knew it I was screwing her. You can read about that in an older post.

Fortunately Ruth had dropped out of school and was only there for a visit. I didn’t even talk to Ruth again after we’d fucked.

The dorm I mentioned where I lived my first two years, was in a small, close-knit, coed dorm. It was for underclassmen so I had to go to another dorm for my junior year. I still had friends at the old dorm and one day a few weeks after the Ruth episode I sat down in the cafeteria to chat with two girls I knew. A few minutes later two other girls walked over. They lived next door to my two friends. I hope my mouth wasn’t wide open because I was instantly smitten with Kathy. She was about 5-feet-7-inches tall, slender and statuesque. She was very pretty and had shoulder-length brown hair. I suddenly felt more like a junior high school kid. I’m not sure if anything I said over the next ten minutes made a lick of sense.

I worked as a desk clerk in the dorm so my plan was to ask her out sometime when she stopped by the desk. That was my grand plan. Unfortunately I waited week after week and it never happened. To make a long story short that is how I hoped to make contact with Kathy literally my entire junior year but, in the long run, it didn’t work. It’s one of the biggest dumb-ass moves of my life. The beginning of my senior year I finally tried to contact her but couldn’t even find her. I think she may have transferred.

I had done some photography in high school and I’d intended to take a class or two in college. The art department offered Art Photography 302 and 402. Fall of my junior year I took 302. One of our assignments was to do a portrait. The year before a girl in my dorm, Melinda, had asked me to take a few photos of her for a class project she was doing. So I asked her if she’d pose for me for my project. She agreed.

I described at the beginning of my blog about Ruth — and in other blogs — about my dear friend Joyce … not the Joyce from high school but the Joyce I met and befriended my first days in college. I didn’t meet Melinda until the beginning of my sophomore year, but I developed a very similar relationship with her has I had with Joyce.

I developed almost a sisterly love for them both. I was a bit confused about what I should do about Joyce my entire four years at college. I’ve said one of the many reasons I never pursued her was that, despite being attractive, Joyce just didn’t push all my sexual buttons.

Melinda was a bit prettier than Joyce and had more sex appeal. One of the reasons I became purely platonic friends with Melinda was that the entire first year we knew each other she had a boyfriend. That sisterly love I felt for Melinda would only complicate things later on.

A few evenings after Melinda agreed to model for me I showed up at the house she shared with some other girls. She looked like someone had just shot her dog. I asked what was wrong and she said that afternoon her boyfriend had dumped her. I asked if she wanted me to come back some other time but she said no. It may have been the first time I took any really thoughtful photos. I used subdued lighting and did a pretty good job of capturing Melinda’s subdued mood.

Several weeks later I bumped into Melinda in the library. We talk quietly near the periodicals and then she asked if I wanted to go to a classical music concert in a few weeks. I wasn’t sure if she was asking me on a date or if were just two friends doing something together. Whatever her intentions I agreed.

We walked into the auditorium and sat down. Two minutes later I saw Kathy — remember her? — walk in with her roommate. What a weird, crazy coincidence that she sat down right in front of me. So I sat through the entire concert with Melinda on my left while staring into the back of Kathy’s head.

I walked Melinda back to her house. As we walked I wondered if this was the start of something. Did I want to get involved with Melinda or did it just seem almost, well, incestuous in a odd way? I also had Kathy on my mind. I didn’t stick around Melinda’s but headed directly back to campus and my old dorm.

When I got there I was hanging out at the front desk with a few others and who should show up but Kathy and her roommate. Kathy had on a pair of running shorts that allowed me to see one of the nicest pair of legs I’d ever seen.  I wasn’t confident enough to ask her out in front of six or seven people and in a few minutes Kathy went back to her room. That’s the only time I ever did talk to her at the from desk.

Winter quarter I went straight into Art Photography 402. Unlike the weekly projects we had in 302 in 402 consisted of just three projects. The first was a landscape or still life. The second was a nude study and the final project was of our own choosing.

I had barely seen Melinda since our “date.” Several weeks into the quarter we stopped in the Union to get a bagel. I mentioned that I was trying to find some interesting landscapes to shoot in the depths of January. She asked if I had any more portraits to do. I mentioned the nude study. We had the option of photographing a model during a life painting class — which the professor said was not preferred — or to find our own model. I told Melinda that I guessed that I was going to just shoot the life class because I felt pretty funny about asking someone to pose nude for me.

We talked about a few other things. We were quiet a minute as we chewed our food and then Melinda said, “I’ll do it!”

I said, “what do you mean.”

“I’ll pose for you. I don’t mind. I trust you.”

I was surprised but intrigued. Melinda wasn’t model beautiful but was certainly attractive. She seemed more attractive than perhaps she actually was because of an intense inner beauty, that, however, was not easy to capture on film. She was a natural blond about five and a half feet tall. She wasn’t statuesque or have a playmate’s figure but was all woman. She had a sly innocence about her that was balanced by a very subtle sexuality.

I told Melinda, “O.K.” and that I’d let her know when I figured out what I wanted to do.

I couldn’t think of a lot of options. If it were early fall or late spring I might try to take her out into the country and photograph her au naturale in nature. But it being in the middle of winter that option was out. That pretty much left my dorm room or her house. She lived in a neat old house that I used to good effect when I took her portrait the quarter before. But she shared the place with four other girls and I wasn’t sure how that dynamic would work.

My dorm room faced west and I got some nice late-afternoon light coming in the window so I decided to try and work with that. First I told my roommate what I needed to do. He said that he was going home for a weekend in a few weeks. I called Melinda and asked if she’d come over on a Saturday afternoon.

I got up that Saturday and shoved all the furniture against one wall opening up the rest of the room. Then I hung a couple of white sheets I’d bought to use as backgrounds. I also had a couple of basic modeling lights I’d borrowed.

As I waited for Melinda I discovered I was feeling quite nervous. I tried to concentrate on the task at hand. Finally, at about 4:30, I heard a tap on my door. Melinda smiled and walked in carrying a duffel bag.

“What’s that for?” I asked.

“I’ve got a little makeup if we need it and a bathrobe.”

Melinda never wore much of any makeup. That was part of her appeal, she didn’t need any. She had a natural beauty that didn’t need a lot of help.

I said, “how about I take some photos of with you with, er, your clothes on first.”

I put her in different poses that I thought I might try and examined the nature of the light coming in. Of course I was really waiting for the later afternoon light that wouldn’t arrive for about an hour.

When the time came Melinda said, “so I guess you want me completely naked?”

I told her there were no rules but I thought it was somehow more artistic if she were. “Do you want to go up to the next floor and use the women’s bath to change into your robe,” I asked.

“You’re going to see me naked anyway so I’ll just strip here,” she said.

I did turn away as she took off her clothes and put on her robe. There was a nice, warm stream of sunlight coming in the window that would have given blonde Melinda a beautiful golden glow … if I were shooting in color. Of course art nudes, at least at that time, were largely in black and white.

She stood in front of the background and said “are you ready?”

I nodded my head. We both took a deep breathe. Melinda looked down at the floor and grasped her robe by the lapels. She revealed her shoulders first and the robe opened from top to bottom. I averted my gaze momentarily. But after she pulled if off and tossed it onto one of the chairs against the wall I looked up at her.

Melinda blushed a bit but did nothing to hide herself. Her breasts were larger than I figured. They were very broad and firm — not pendulous at all. Her areolae were broad to match her breasts and had a number of small bumps surrounding her nipples that were about the size of the tip of a little finger. She had nice, rounded hips and a small patch of barely noticeable blond pubic hair.

I really didn’t want this but my penis immediately got hard. I just hoped Melinda wouldn’t notice any bulge in my jeans. I really just wanted to take my photos and let her get dressed.

It didn’t take long for Melinda to feel comfortable with her state. I photographed her in a number of full-length poses standing, sitting and lying down. She even offered some of her own ideas.

Before the direct rays of light disappeared I asked if she’d mind if I took some closeups. First I turned her sideways to the light and closed in on her breasts. The bumps surrounding her nipple were accentuated in the high-contrast light. I spent a number of minutes focused on her breasts.

As the early evening light softened I asked her if she’d mind if I took some pictures of her butt. I wasn’t trying to take pornographic pictures and I assiduously avoided shooting her genitals. In fact I tried not to even look down there.

As she got onto her stomach on the floor I knelt down to find an artistic angle on the curves of her ass. I asked her to move a bit to change the lighting. I didn’t even mean to do it but as I was kneeling  just a few feet away from her I was looking straight down as she started to scoot over. She separated her legs and I could plainly see her asshole and pussy. She moved her legs together again but as she glanced over her shoulder she realized that I’d probably gotten quite an eyeful. All she said was “ooopsie!”

Over time I had been concentrating on taking pictures my erection had subsided, but this view brought it back to life.

As the light faded I said we were done. I picked up Melinda’s robe and took it to her. She took it but didn’t put it on. Standing in front of me she said, “I was afraid that was going to be embarrassing, but I enjoyed it. It was even kind of … erotic.”

I stammered a bit, “I, I, I didn’t mean it to be erotic. I mean these are supposed to be artistic photos, not centerfolds.”

Melinda patted me on the arm and said, “oh, I know. I told you that I trusted you. But still, I’m not used to this so being nude in front of a boy is going to be erotic. Of course, I’m sure I probably shouldn’t be doing this, being a good Catholic girl and all.”

“Oh, really?” I said, smiling.

“Do you like me Nils?”

This I didn’t expect. Again I wasn’t sure what to say. “Of course I like you, Mel, I’m terribly fond of you.”

“Fond? What have you been thinking about the last hour?”

“Doing my assignment…” I said.

“In what way?” Melinda said as she broke into a broad grin.

It took me a second but then I picked up on my unintended double entendre.

“OH!” I said. “Well, I am a guy and you’re an attractive … errr woman … and, ah, you are naked, and … and you like me too?

“Yes. Why do you think I asked you to that concert?”

“Well, we’ve been friends for some time now and, ah, I didn’t think, I mean … I went, didn’t I?”

“I must admit,” Melinda said, “you seemed to be in a hurry to go home that evening. And then I didn’t even see you for, what, about three weeks, and that was by accident.”

“Well, I, um…”

Melinda continued, “no, it’s all right. If you just consider me a platonic friend that’s fine. I just thought you might be interested …”

We weren’t arguing but this discussion seemed a bit odd considering Melinda was standing in front of me naked.

“OK then…” Melinda said as she started to put her robe on.

“Listen, Melinda … let me tell you something.” I wasn’t sure if I should even mention this but I kept going. “That night at the concert a girl sat right in front of us. I’d been trying figure out how to get her to go out with me since early October. I wasn’t really sure what you were after. I was kind of afraid to go down that road with you. That night I got to thinking about that girl and, well…”

“Oh, I see…” said Melinda.

Realizing I’d just made a huge mistake I stepped to within inches of Melinda and said, “that was stupid. I’m sorry. You were reaching out to me and I was too dumb to recognize it. I, I…”

The conclusion to this story … next time!

Watch or be watched

Posted in Fantasy sex with tags , , , , , on 2009/10/16 by Nils

Let’s say you had to go on a business trip for four days. The conference was so boring you decided to come home a day early. So it’s about 8:30 … dark out. You decide to give the wife a little surprise so you park nearby and walk to the house. You notice that the bedroom light is on so you go over and peak in.

What should you see but some guy’s ass high in the air, pounding his dick into your wife. What would you do?

  • Go in and smack the guy with a baseball bat.
  • Go in and confront them angrily but nonviolently.
  • Go in and calmly inform your wife that you’re finished.
  • Go back to the car and drive back to the conference.
  • Watch the two fuck until the guy cums all over your wife because it’s such a turn-on — and then … one of the above.

This is purely theoretical. It’s never happened to me nor do I even have the hint of suspicion that my wife is having an affair.

I think I’d be exceeding pissed off. I wouldn’t get the baseball bat because why end up in prison for severely injuring or killing someone. I’d probably pick either the second or third choices. I’d also probably watch for a little while.

Here’s another scenario. Say you’ve been invited to an old-fashioned, 1970s key-exchange party. You and the wife get paired up with others. If you had to choose would you rather have to watch her get screwed by someone else or would you want her have to watch you have sex with someone else?

I think it would be an extreme turn-on to have the wife watch me have sex with someone else. As far as I know only one person has ever seen me having sex with someone else. I’ll describe that eventually. And I’ve already written a blog about watching a couple do it.

Of course the wife would completely refuse to watch. She’d probably divorce me if I even suggested going to a key exchange. Well, that’s for good reason. I wouldn’t even consider it myself. My fantasy life might think it a good idea, but reality is something completely different. I wouldn’t be (what the original title for this blog was) the Randy — and faithful — hubby.

I never thought about key exchanges before. I’ve certainly never been invited to one. I didn’t even think about the concept until I saw an episode of “That ’70s Show.” I wonder how common they actually were … or are.

The problem is what happens if you get stuck with an ugly partner. The other thing is, what if these people are your friends. That would just be too weird. Forgetaboutit!

How big?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on 2009/10/13 by Nils

So who would have thought that you could have writer’s block when the topic is sex. I could get into some more of my sexual history, but I decided to give that a bit of a rest.

Here’s a subject most guys probably think about ever once in awhile: Penis size. Ya — I’ll admit it — I wish I had a bigger dick. But I didn’t always think that.

When I was a young man I didn’t think much about how long it was. A large part of that was because I rarely if ever saw male porn stars. But then, once I purchased a few VCR porn tapes in the 80s and 90s, I started to see these guys with seven, eight, even nine-inch penises. It just makes you think that you’re inadequate.

But do some research. The average erect penis is under six inches. Some studies put it at being just over five inches. And the deviation isn’t all that much. That means that these guys with really big ones are freaks. The longest I’ve ever measured mine was 6-1/4 inches so that is certainly a bit above average.

I had a friend in college who claimed to have a nine-inch penis. I can’t say I ever had any interest in finding out if he was telling the truth. But he certainly didn’t have any problem finding girls to have sex with. He claimed to have already had dozens of partners by the time I knew him. That included a 40-year-old woman he had recently picked up at a hotel bar in the area. Of course I think that had more to do with his aggressive-male personality. I don’t imagine someone adept at having one-night-stands goes around promoting his penis size to women.  But then again maybe he did.

I remember one evening we were at a bar together a few weeks after I had graduated. We started talking to two women. One was pretty hot and the other one was barely average. So big dick guy zeros in on the hot one. Before we know it we’re all headed back to his apartment. By the time we get there he suggests that I take the other girl back to her place so he can bang the hot chick. I still remember the five-minute car ride back to this girl’s apartment. We didn’t say much. And I was sitting there thinking “do I want to screw this girl?” She didn’t give me any indication that she wanted me to so I just dropped her off and went home. Big dick guy did end up doing it with the hottie.

So how important was it for Miss Hottie that her date had a big penis? I guess the truth is, despite what the women on “Sex and the City” say, most women don’t care all that much about how big a guy is.

How to have sex with a porn star

Posted in Fantasy sex with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 2009/09/29 by Nils

As a randy husband with a wife who is only occasionally interested in sex, I’ve had to find ways of finding sexual healing. As I’ve strenuously pointed out, I don’t have affairs. So what’s a guy to do?

Since I started this blog I wondered if I’d share with my small public a peculiar hobby I’ve developed. It’s nothing I’m particularly proud of. It is, quite possibly, unique in the world of sexual fantasy.

I’ve already talked about my penchant for collecting photos of beautiful naked women off the internet (See blog “Pornography“). There’s nothing unusual about that. I’ve never paid for one yet my collection certainly runs in the thousands of photos.

One day I saw in a magazine several photos an artist had created. It was quite an odd idea. The artist would take pornographic photos and remove the people with sophisticated Photoshop techniques creating the scene as if the models had just left the set.

This got me to thinking of something I could do with my growing collection of photos. Instead of taking people of photos, I’d be adding people to photos.

I’m a pretty good amateur photographer. I’ve got a Nikon digital camera and good Nikkor lens and a few flashes. With a basic understanding of lighting I thought I could pull it off. “What?” you ask. Here’s how it works:

  1. Pick some of my favorite photos of naked women in particularly suggestive poses.
  2. Find a place in the house that is similar to the scene the woman is in.
  3. Set up my flashes to mimic the lighting in the photos.
  4. Put my camera on a tripod.
  5. Line up my shot.
  6. Set the timer on the camera.
  7. Take off my clothes.
  8. Get an erection.
  9. Push the shutter and get in front of the camera.
  10. Assume a sexual position and wait for the shutter to fire.

This leaves me with — that’s right — photos of myself naked with a hard-on. Next I would:

  1. Download my photos onto the computer.
  2. Open the photo of the naked girl in Photoshop.
  3. Use the extract function to isolate just the girl.
  4. Shrink down the photo of myself until it’s the same relative size as the girl.
  5. Drag the photo of the girl onto the photo of me. (Or on rare occasions vice versa.)

I could get heavily into the techniques I’ve developed but I won’t. I just mention that it involves a lot of work with layers and the snapshot and clone tools.  After some cleaning up of the combined photos I’m left with a photo of me with a naked porn star.

My first attempts were pretty crappy looking, but over the years I’ve gotten so good that many of my creations look absolutely real. In some combined photos I’m merely standing with my arms around the naked woman. In others the girl is sucking my penis. In a few I’m happily eating pussy. In many I’m partially to fully penetrating the girl’s vagina or, on occasion, anus. And finally there are a some that look like she’s either just sucked me off or I’ve just pulled out after coming inside her. I’ve even gotten pretty good at painting in drops of cum.

I guess the oddest part of all this is the production I’ve gone through to get photos of myself. I’ve done maybe ten sessions over the years so now I have a wide selection of me in any number of positions and different lighting setups. The hardest thing (no pun intended) is to keep an erection when I’m fooling with camera settings, etc.

I’ll admit this too … I’ll use Photoshop to increase the apparent size of my penis. In many of these photos I look like I’m endowed just like some of the bigger male porn stars. Male enhancement pills? I don’t need no stinking male enhancement pills.

The fewer apparent touch points between me and the girl the easier it is. I also have to consider how arms and legs should overlap. It’s most difficult to make it look as if my hands are really on a girl’s body. I like to try to make it look like I’m squeezing a girl’s breasts, but if I don’t have my hands in just the right position and correctly spaced, it won’t look right. And then you get into the problem of shadows.

If I’m only touching the girl with my penis it’s easy. A few times there have been a number of contact points, like lying on top of a girl. That’s much harder to pull off but when it works it seems that much more real.

I also have to take into consideration the angle the girl has been photographed and if the photographer used a wider or more telephoto lens. If the perspective is too different between my photo and the girl’s then it’s less likely to appear real.

So I guess this is the ultimate question. Is it exceedingly weird for me to get off looking at my finished product — of me apparently fucking a porn star? Well, it really does get me hard. You can also ask if this is wrong somehow. Well, I’m not spending time chasing girls and having affairs. Are these photos an expression of desire to have sex with dozens and dozens of sexy women. Well, duh! If this fantasy world keeps me faithful to my wife then that’s a good thing.

Three’s a crowd

Posted in Sexual history with tags , , , , on 2009/09/28 by Nils

(Note: I realized today that the first titled I had for this post (Three’s company) didn’t make any sense. Instead of referencing that silly sitcom “Three’s Company” I should have used the old phrase on which the TV’s show’s title was a take-off…”Two’s company, three’s a crowd.” Of course no one has read it yet proving that my only blogs that are widely read contain a lot of sex.)

More about my freshman affair with Kari…

After class the following Wednesday (following the episode in my last blog), I followed Kari to her dorm room before we were going to dinner together.  Her roommate was studying at her desk.

I talked to Kari a bit about class. Then I asked her if she’d like to go see “All The President’s Men” with me that weekend.

She hesitated, swallowed hard and said, “about this weekend…”

I didn’t think much about it at that moment, but Kari’s roommate looked at her and then got up and left the room.

“Nils, I’m not going to be able to see you this weekend. I have a friend coming to visit me,” Kari said.

“Oh,” I said, “Could I meet her — or are you trying to keep me a secret?” I chuckled because I thought I was kidding.

“Ahmmm, my friend is a him, not a her.” she said.

“Huh?” I said. I wasn’t sure that I heard her correctly. “your friend is a what?”

“A guy, my friend is a boy.”

Suddenly my pulse started to quicken. “Your friend is a boy? What kind of a friend? Do you … do you mean a boyfriend?”

“Ah huh,” Kari said.

Suddenly I didn’t know if I should scream or cry. Instead I just managed to mutter. “I, I thought … I thought that we … I thought that I…”

“You thought that you’re my boyfriend. You are Nils. You are my college boyfriend. Ted is my home boyfriend,” Kari said in almost a matter-of-fact way.

I half sat, half fell onto her bed. I felt like someone had just fired a cannonball into my gut. I could only mutter bits of words.

“I’ve known Ted since we were kids,” Kari said. “He lives down the street from me. We dated on and off — mostly on — through high school.”

“And now?” I said. “Are you on or off?”

Kari looked at the floor but then back up at me and did her best to look me in the eye. “Well, he’s been away at school. He’s going to Harvard. He’s far away and working really hard — he’s premed. This is the first chance he’s had to come visit me here since we started school.”

“Harvard?!” I muttered. “He must be rich. Are you rich Kari?” At that moment it occurred to me that I didn’t know much about her home life.

“Well, his family is very well off. They live nearby, but my family is much more middle class. But he’s smart too, he had the grades to get in … plus being able to afford it,” Kari said.

“You didn’t answer my question,” I said. Now emotions were really starting to well up inside me. “Is he coming here as your boyfriend. I mean, are you, are…” I struggled to say it. “Are you … romantically involved?”

Now Kari couldn’t keep her gaze and looked down at the floor. “Yes, yes we are.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know if I should scream at her or cry so I jumped up and rushed out of the room. As I headed down the hall I heard her implore me to wait, but I didn’t.

I was in the dorm’s lobby before she caught up with me. She grabbed by elbow and said, “please Nils, don’t run off like this. You don’t understand.”

Then she saw that I had tears in my eyes. “Come back up to my room…” she said.

“…no, I can’t,” I stammered.

“Nils, don’t let this end what we have. He’s only here for a couple days and then he’ll be gone and you’ll have me all to yourself again.”

“I need to go…” I said.

“OK,” said Kari, “at least promise me you’ll have dinner with me next Wednesday.”

Looking at her only made me want to cry again so I just said, “maybe,” and turned and left.

I lay on my bed for the next few hours. My roommate tried to get me to go get dinner but I didn’t feel like eating. I slogged my way through the next few days. When finally the weekend came all I could think of was that Ted was with Kari. As I lay in bed Friday night  I kept wondering if they were in bed together.

I awoke Wednesday dreading what was coming that afternoon. I thought about not going to class but at the last minute rushed over. As I edged into the classroom I saw Kari in her usual chair. She looked up and saw me and gave a weak smile.

I swallowed hard and walked over and sat next to her. I had been trying to think of what I was going to say to her for a week but all I could do was grunt.

“How are you Nils? Are you OK?”

“I’ve been better.”

We sat, mostly in silence, until the end of class. As the other students left she grabbed my hand and said, “let’s go talk somewhere.”

Kari lead me to a wooded area on the edge of campus with some trails and benches. It was off the beaten path so we were pretty much alone.

We sat on a bench and I asked — with a hint of sarcasm — how her weekend was.  Then I asked Kari, “did you tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“Tell him about me?”

“No, Nils, I didn’t. I don’t think he would have taken it well.”

“And you think I am?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I told you because I thought you’d understand. Ted is an old-fashioned kind of guy. He’s very driven … very into that dominant male kind of thing. He always had to be the best in high school. You’re more open minded. I thought you’d be able to handle this kind of situation.”

“What kind of situation? Maybe I just don’t understand relationships but I really care about you. The thought of sharing you with someone else…”

“That’s my point, Nils, I thought you’d understand that you can’t own a person. We’re young, we’re free to do as we please — to experience different people. I really wish we could cast off these silly old traditions. Granted, Ted is one who holds onto them. He’s hard charging and I appreciate his determination to achieve what he wants. You’re so different. You’re reserved and thoughtful and sweet. When we’re together you act as if you’re completely devoted to me.”

Kari continued, “Sometimes when I’m in bed with Ted I feel like I’m just a vessel for him. But I also have this guilty pleasure of being turned on by his power over me. It’s really against my principles of how I think men should treat women, but I enjoy it anyway. And then you come along and almost seem to worship me. You treat me with respect and seem to think only of my feelings. Each of you provides me with something the other doesn’t have. He’s the macho man and you’re, what … I guess you’re the romantic.

“I really do care about you, Nils. I know we can make each other happy. As long as we can be together why shouldn’t we? You can try other girls, you know. I won’t mind. You can always come back to me. You just can’t expect to tie me down.”

“Well, Kari, forgive me for being the romantic, maybe that’s my problem. Romance is a pretty traditional idea. Yes, I really thought that I was falling for you. It’s not a question of wanting to own you, it’s a question of wanting to be committed to you.”

“Do you really think we should be committing to anyone at this stage?” Kari countered. “We’re only 18. It’s not like we’re going to get married.”

“If all I wanted you for was the sex — and I do love the sex — then maybe I’d think about seeing someone else, but I don’t want to. Well, I didn’t anyway,” I said.

“So this has changed everything for you, has it? I’m disappointed. You never know how things could have ended up.”

“You mean someday you may have chosen me … exclusively?”

“Maybe,” Kari said.

“I don’t think so. It all became quite clear to me. Ted … Harvard man … future doctor … rich family … hugely promising future. I can add. He’s a sure thing for you. He’s you’re ticket for a prosperous life. In the meantime, while he’s toiling away at Harvard, you play around with state-school guys like me who think you’re an angel.”

This got Kari’s ire up. “I’m not just playing around Nils. I’m not in it just for the sex.”

“But you’re not going to choose me over Ted, are you?”

“Why should I have to?”

“Because it’s what’s fair, Kari. I got to thinking what I’d do in Ted’s shoes. I know why you didn’t tell him about me. If you had he’d want to find me and kick my ass. I’m sorry, but thinking about you being in bed with him … I just couldn’t … my stomach was in knots the entire weekend. I can’t live like that. I can’t be part of a trio.”

Kari looked down at the ground and sighed. “So it’s over…?”

I had been trying to be resolute but with this note of finality I could feel my eyes start to well up. I looked away and mumbled “I guess it is.”

Finally, I looked back at Kari and saw a few tears fall down her cheek. She wasn’t sobbing or angry — she seemed profoundly sad.

Looking through my own misty eyes I wiped the wetness from her cheek. She put her arms around me and said, “I told you that I cared about you. Can you believe me?”

But she quickly put her arms down and we sat in silence for several minutes. She had quickly gained her composure. She took my hand and said, “I’m sorry, Nils, I never wanted to hurt you. I’ll miss you.”

“Don’t be sorry Kari. I’ll never forget … I wouldn’t trade … those nights we had together were …”

“I know,” Kari said, “they were.”

She stood up. I remained seated and said, “I’ll see you around.” And I watched her walk away.

Of course I saw her the remain three or so weeks of the quarter. We sat together and tried to be friends. I welcomed summer break.

Over the following three years I only saw Kari a handful of times: Passing between classes, at a coffeehouse concert. It was during my last month at college I stopped in the Union to grab a bite to eat and saw her sitting there with a friend. Seeing that I was by myself Kari invited me to sit with them. After a short time her friend went off to class. We sat and talked about our plans for graduation.

Then she asked me if I was dating anyone. I mentioned that I had started going out with Caryn (see the blog “The ones that got away“).

“…And you?” I asked.

“Well, nobody special at the moment. I guess you’d be interested to know that Ted broke up with me over Christmas break of our sophomore years. He dumped me for a Harvard girl. Another premed student.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be. It was really kind of a relief.”

“You should have looked me up. I barely had a date sophomore year,” I said.

“You would have taken me back?” Kari asked.

“Absolutely. You still look like an angel, Kari.”

We walked outside. She held out her hand but instead I put my arms around her and we embraced … and I kissed her. “For old times,” I said.

“For old times…” she repeated.

We turned to go our separate ways but after a few steps I stopped and looked back and watched her go down the sidewalk until I couldn’t see her anymore. It was the last time I ever saw Kari.

Getting oral with Kari

Posted in Sexual history with tags , , , , , , , , , on 2009/09/25 by Nils

(Contains adult situations.)

This is a continuation from my last post “First lover! First love?” involving Kari, the first girl I ever had sex with. The story was the most explicit, graphic description of sex I’ve ever attempted. It’s rather long but I think it’s a pretty good story. Check it out if you haven’t.

In one weekend I lost my virginity and made love three more times with Kari. It was the start of a closer relationship. In the following weeks we would regularly have dinner together and — as our dorms were next door to each other — sometimes study together; throwing in some kissing and petting as a break from school work if we could find a little privacy.

And we waited for our next opportunity to have sex. Although we wanted each other desperately we also thought it rather tacky to ask our roommates to disappear for an hour or two so that we could get it on.

It wasn’t until nearly two weeks after our first sex session that I called Kari one afternoon we didn’t have class and told her that my roommate would be on a field trip for most of the afternoon.

In just a few minutes she was walking through my door. Soon as I closed the door she was reaching down to pull off her shirt but I stopped her. I said that we had plenty of time and we didn’t need to rush.

I insisted that she let me take off all her clothes. I did so slowly, focusing my attention on one part of her body and then another. I was trying to burn the image of every part of her naked body on my brain.

By the time I pulled off her panties I was ready to work on my cunnilingus technique. I worked back and forth between her pussy and breasts and within about 15 minutes Kari was trying to stifle her screams as she reached orgasm. I had yet to remove one piece of my own clothing.

I told her I’d be right back as I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth and remove the taste of her wetness from my mouth. It wasn’t an unpleasant taste. I just assumed she’d prefer it if my breathe were fresher.

I was naked within seconds of getting back to the room. I handed Kari a condom. I loved to watch her put it on me. I laid her on the floor, crawled on top and plunged my penis into her. The rug was rough on my knees so after about five minutes I got up and sat on my desk chair.

I intently watched Kari as she threw her leg over me. She grabbed by penis and rubbed its tip around her pussy. She slapped her clitoris with it a few times and then guided it inside her.

We were in that position for some time. For awhile she’d ride me sliding up and down on my pole — sometimes slow, sometimes fast. Then we’d kiss and just rock back and forth together. And then I’d thrust up into her.

Next, I moved Kari over to the bunk beds and had her hold onto one of the support bars that was a bit over her head. She leaned forward and stuck her ass up into the air. I came up from behind and slid into her, leaning forward and grabbed her breasts. I kissed her back and shoulders as I massaged her tits and moved my hand down and worked her clitoris. Then I stood up and bent back a bit so that I could see my penis going into her vagina. This put me into a delirium. I had improved from our first sessions, but I still wasn’t an experienced lover. I was starting to cum before I was ready so I just grabbed the sides of her ass and started banging into her while trying to stifle my own cries of pleasure.

After we were done she told me that she’d be having her period soon and we wouldn’t be doing anything sexual over the weekend. Actually that didn’t exactly turn out to be the case.

On Saturday evening we ended up in my dorm watching “Saturday Night Live.” After it was over we went back to the secluded spot in my dorm where we had first made out. We kissed and made out and talked for some time. Before we knew it, it was about 2:30 a.m. She said that she’d better go back to her room but first slid down onto the floor in front of me.

There wasn’t a noise, not a person around. Kari looked up at me as she started rubbing my crotch. It didn’t take long for me to get hard. The next thing I knew Kari was unzipping my pants. She pulled out my penis and sucked on it a little getting it wet. Then she jerked me for a while before going back to fellatio. The only sucking of my dick she had done before was mostly as a tease.

She was fairly intense so it wasn’t long that I whispered in her ear that I was getting close. She hesitated. I guess she was running the options through her mind. She looked around, I think to see what she could do with me when I came.

But she was soon sucking the tip as she stroked the base and I started ejaculating into her mouth. She continued sucking and swallowed just about everything. It was oddly erotic and disgusting all at the same time.

After she put my penis away Kari told me that she’d never swallowed before but figured I’d swallowed so much of her wetness that she could return the favor.

That turned out to be the only time in my life that a lover swallowed my cum.

It took awhile but after we had dated awhile my wife did start to suck my penis. From the first time to the last I would tell her when I was getting ready to orgasm and she’d stop sucking and just jerk me until I came all over my stomach.

That last time was probably a good 18 years ago. I can’t imagine what she’d say now if I suggested, “if we’re only going to have intercourse once a month the least you could do is suck me off once in a while.”

No, I don’t think that would have the desired effect.

For now I’ve got to be content with my faded memory of  every part of Kari’s body. I should have studied my books as closely as I studied her body.

First lover! First love?

Posted in Sexual history with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 2009/09/23 by Nils

(Contains graphic descriptions of sex.)

During my long, heavy petting session with Kari (described at the end of yesterday’s post) I got to feel so comfortable with Kari that I asked her, “if we could find some real privacy would you let me make love to you.”

The question didn’t faze her a bit. “If you mean fully-naked, going all-the-way — I’d love to,” Kari said. She knew what she wanted and didn’t mind talking about it. For a guy who was rather shy and hesitant, it was a huge relief to be with a girl who was so direct.

“We’ll figure something out,” she said, as she gently put her hand on the back of my head. “I don’t want our first time to be something hurried in the back of a car so let’s wait for a good opportunity,” she said.

I couldn’t agree more. Of course I didn’t have a car at school anyway.

Two weeks later, in class, she sat beside me and whispered in my ear, “my roommate is going home Friday afternoon and will be gone all weekend.”

I looked at her and smiled, squeezed her hand and gave her a wink.

As we met at her dorm Friday evening she emerged in a beautiful, long, flowing, tie-dyed dress. The dress had straps over the shoulders and her arms were bare, the neckline curved down showing the tops of her breasts. It was slightly loose but you could see her curves. It was the first time I’d seen her in something other than blue jeans. She looked even more like an angel than she had when I first saw her.

Our university had a nice, sit-down restaurant run by students and I took her there for the nicest dinner I could afford at the time.

Later, we went into her dorm room and I closed the door, walked up to her and we embraced with lip-lock. I really wanted to have her for dinner. I started running my hands over her body.

I tried to take my time, but we were both ready to explode we wanted each other so much. She stopped me for a second and said that she wanted to brush her teeth. I said that I should do the same but I didn’t have a toothbrush.

“You can use mine. I’ve been sticking my tongue in your mouth, what’s the difference?” Kari said. She walked over to her dresser to get her toiletries. As she bent over I came up from behind and pushed my groin into her butt, leaned forward and grabbed both her breasts from behind.

Straightening up Kari said, “Oh, Nils … you naughty boy. You just can’t wait, can you? Hold on, I’ll be back in a minute.”

She came back from the bathroom and handed me the toothbrush and paste and told me to go to the lobby and use the men’s bathroom.

I took a pee, washed up a little and brushed my teeth before heading back to her room.

She was sitting on the bed when I came back but stood up and met me and we restarted our kissing and caressing. Then I knelt down in front of her and put my hands up her dress, cupping her ass and pulling her to me. I pressed my face into her just below her breasts. She cradled my head. She still had her dress on. After massaging her butt a little through her panties I slid my hands up, underneath her panties and squeezed the round, supple skin of her ass. I was in heaven with my angel. I didn’t even have her dress off and my penis already wanted to explode.

“You having fun?” she asked.

Then I grabbed the elastic of her panties and pulled them down into a pile around her ankles. I think I was shaking a little. I felt quite at ease with Kari, however, seeing her panties on the floor and knowing what I was going to do next; my excitement was starting to overwhelm me.

I took the hem of her dress and lifted it up higher and higher revealing her slender but shapely thighs. But that wasn’t my goal. Finally I saw the holy grail. She had a neat mound of pubic hair just a tad darker than the hair on her head.

“Like what you see?” She asked.

I’d never seen a real, live girl naked below the waist before and here I was just inches away.

I pulled her dress up higher and put my lips to her bellybutton and licked around it. I let the dress go as I moved my mouth over her tummy toward her pubics. The dress fell over my head leaving me in the soft, dim, colorful light filtering through her tie-dyed dress. I felt her pubic hair on my chin as I ran my hands up the backs of her legs until I reached the crack of her ass. She shuddered ever so slightly and moaned a little as I let my two middle fingers come between her legs and contact the area between her two openings.

The strange light coming into my magical little tent and the wonderful things I was feeling with my fingertips sent me to an etherial place I’ll never forget. It all seemed so perfect.

The narrowing of the top of the dress didn’t allow me to get up to her breasts so I just licked and kissed around her waist and tummy. From the front, I ran my right middle finger up between her legs and pressed it into her pussy and moved it around. I had a pretty good idea what I was supposed to do, but never having done it before I wanted to get a better look at what was down there.

Just then she lifted up her dress and held the folds of it to her chest. I looked up into her radiant, smiling face.

Kari stepped out of her panties and moved her feet apart giving me a better view. I got down on my haunches and looked up between her legs. The sight of her pubic hair, mons and labia was thrilling, beautiful, wondrous, exotic, erotic, dangerous and inviting all at the same time.

I knew about cunnilingus and wanted to give it a try. I had felt very free and open with Kari but suddenly I wasn’t sure of myself. I moved closer, hugged her ass and put my right cheek into her pubic hair. I just held her, rocking back and forth. I could smell her faint muskiness. Standing over me she ran her fingers through my hair.

Then I looked up at her and she was looking down at me.

“You’re such a sweet boy, Nils,” she said.

She leaned over and grabbed my elbow and guided me to me feet, put her arms around my neck and kissed me.

I moved her back two feet and gently guided her down so that she was sitting on the edge of her bed. Her dress fell around her waist but I could still see everything between her legs. I was thinking of diving in, face first, but she had her own ideas.

“Now it’s my turn,” she said.

As I stood before her she unbuckled my belt and unbuttoned my pants. I quickly pulled off my shirt as she got an eye of the bulge in my underwear. She grabbed the waist of both my pants and Jockeys and pulled down. My underwear got caught on my hard-on. She gently grabbed the elastic with one hand and my manhood with the other. It was the first time a girl had ever touched the bare skin of my penis and that very instant was almost just about enough. As she pulled my pants down to my ankles she leaned forward so that her face was inches away from my crotch.

As I watched her I just had to look a foot lower to see her exposed pussy and thighs as she sat in front of me. As she leaned forward she spread her legs a bit more allowing me a better view. She had a gleeful look on her face like a kid with an all-day sucker.

She grabbed my penis with her right hand and gently stroked it just a little. She kissed the very tip and looked up at me, smiling the whole time.

“You seem to be happy to see me,” Kari joked.

“I’ve been happy since I first saw you in that dress earlier today,” I said. “I’ve been thinking of nothing but taking it off of you.”

Then she kissed my penis several more times. I wasn’t sure what she was going to do. Finally she put her mouth around just the head of my penis, moved her head back and forth just slightly three or four times and then moved away.

She fell back onto her elbows, pulling up her dress over her breasts.

“Please, suck my titties now,” she said.

This was the second time she’d asked me to do that so it must have been one of her favorites. I stepped out of my pants and kneeled down on top of her. I put my arms around her. With my hands on her shoulder blades I pulled her up ever so slightly so her nipples met my lips and I started licking. After a few minutes she fell onto her back and I moved onto my side. I continued sucking and massaging her breasts until I moved my right hand down between her legs.

I groped around a little but then she grabbed my hand and lead my finger directly to her clitoris. She pushed my fingers down onto it letting me know what she wanted. I did that for a few minutes. She started squirming and moaning. I was just in complete amazement as I felt myself play this angel like a beautiful instrument. Finally, I moved my hand down and found the opening to her vagina. The feel of her wetness there heightened the moment for me. Then I pushed my middle finger inside her and moved it in and out a few times.

Kari said, “Ohhhh, that’s nice. Ohh, Nils, that’s good.” After some of that she said, “I want you inside me!”

She gently pushed me off her and said “wait, let me get a condom.” I had one in my wallet but she went to her purse and retrieved one. “You don’t mind using a rubber, do you?” she asked. I’m on the pill but you can never be too careful.”

I was sitting on the edge of the bed and she came over, knelt in front of me and rolled the condom onto my penis. It was an amazing sight to watch her do this gentle proceedure on me.

We stood up together. I embraced her and kissed her grabbing her ass through the dress. Then I lifted the dress over her head and we were both completely naked — except for the condom.

I turned her around and sat her on the bed again. She leaned back onto her elbows and spread her legs, exposing all of her beautiful pussy to me.

I stood over her and she looked up at me. It was another stunning moment. This bright, modern, independent woman was on her back in complete supplication, presenting her body to me.

I moved closer but kept a somewhat upright posture so that I could retain a good view.

Kari cooed up at me, “please Nils, please. I need you inside me. I want to feel you deep inside me.” She knew that’s exactly what I was going to do but it sounded so sexy.

Without any further hesitation I moved my penis to her vagina. I hesitated, holding the head against her hole. This was it! I felt the moment I’d been waiting for my entire life had finally arrived. I pushed very slowly as I found the slippery path. The tightness of her opening gave way and I was inside her.

Kari remained on her elbows and was leaning forward — looking between her legs seemingly as turned on as I was of both the feel and sight of my penetration into her. She watched as I slowly pushed into her, feeling her vagina slowly give way to my erection. After getting half way in I slowly pulled out and then pushed again, slowly, until my public hair met hers. Instinctively now I slowly pulled out and pushed back in three or four times.

She fell onto her back, tossed her head back, grabbed the back of her knees and pulled her legs as far apart as she could. I started thrusting down into her at a medium pace. After a couple minutes, feeling like I was about to explode, I pushed all the way into her pinning her hips to the bed. Holding her there I got onto my hands and moved in to suck on her nipples. She started whispering things into my ear as she enjoyed the change of feeling from her pussy to her breasts. I only rotated my hips slightly as I pushed my pelvis down onto her getting as deep inside her as I could. I was trying not to get too excited. It was nearly impossible.

I collapsed onto her, slid my hands under her back and grasped her shoulders as I started kissing her deeply.  She temporarily wrapped her legs around my waist making me feel as if we were melting into each other. I whispered into her ear, “oh Kari, you’re the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I dared pull in and out of her — slowly — about a  dozen times as we kissed. I slowed and pressed all the way into her for a bit more, just gently pulsing my pelvis into her.

I then got up on my hands. Feeling me relax my downward pressure on her she moved to gain some leverage on me. With her legs spread not so wide as before she bent her knees and put her feet into the bed, also pressing her hands into the sheets. Then she said, “oh, please, fuck me, fuck me hard!” It was another amazing moment to have my angel become such a wanton sex goddess. Her added leverage allowed her to rotate her pussy up into me thrusting at a pretty good clip. My balls started slapping her ass as I slid in and out and back into her wetness.

It was all just too much for me. We slapped into each other three or four more times. I closed my eyes and made one final, hard thrust into her, pinning her to the bed.

She leaned forward and grabbed the sides of my waist so she could push back up into me. “Oh, are you cumming? Cum inside me Nils!”

And I did.

I collapsed on top of her and kissed her for a minute, gently pushing into her to get whatever residual feeling I could. Then we both relaxed. I’m not sure how long it was since I had mounted Kari. It seemed like an eternity but it was probably more like five to ten minutes.

“I’m sorry I came so fast,” I whispered into her ear.

In a gently reasurring tone Kari said, “don’t worry, you were wonderful.”

As I relaxed some more she said, “hey, watch out for the condom.” I wasn’t really thinking about it. I grabbed the base of it and pulled out of her.

“You really filled it up,” she said as she looked at the rubber.

She put on her robe and said, “give it to me, I’m going to take it to the bathroom. I don’t want to leave it in here. I’m going to clean up a little.”

When she came back I asked her if she’d had enough.

“For now, yes. But we can do it again later. Or maybe in the morning. You’ll last longer now that you’ve cum once.”

“You mean I can stay?”

“Of course, don’t you want to?” she asked.

I did.

We sat and talked for hours. I was naked. Kari had her robe on but pulled apart so I could see most of her.

Around midnight she said that she was tired so we crawled into bed together. I got in first. She stood before me and did a little striptease taking off the robe and then turned off the lights. She slid into bed with me. We faced each other and kissed a bit and then I told her to roll over. She did and we lay together on our sides, my arm around her waist in a spoon position.

I pulled her into me and cupped one of her breasts and started kissing the back of her neck. My dick sprang to life again and I pushed it into the crack of her ass.

She reached back and grabbed my penis and said, “I’m not really up to doing it again tonight. Can you wait until morning?”

Willing to do anything she said, I agreed.

As I held her close I whispered into her ear, ”Kari, I just can’t say what this means to me. This was my first time.”

She turned her head and looked back at me. “Oh Nils. That’s wonderful. I’m so glad to be your first lover. You did very well and I’m sure you’ll do even better in the morning.”

And I did. I managed to hold off long enough to explore some interesting positions. And I learned that it if I sucked on Kari’s breasts as I manipulated her clitoris she’d have a big orgasm.

We spent all day Saturday together and then made love for a third time that evening and a fourth on Sunday morning. For someone who had been so inept with girls before, it was a stunning introduction to love and sex.

And I started to think that I was in love.

Kari me away

Posted in Sexual history with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 2009/09/22 by Nils

(Contains adult content)

By the start of spring quarter of my freshman year I’d already wasted a full two quarters trying to get Lori interested in me. (Read about Lori.) Any sane man would have realized that it was a hopeless endeavor and given up … but not me.

But then an angel appeared who would lead me to the promised land.

That quarter I was taking Geology 104. I had to find my transcripts buried in a box in the basement to pull up that old factoid. I’m reminded that there were three, one-hour lectures in a big hall and a two-hour lab each Wednesday.

The first day of lab I walked in and looked around and there was an angel sitting alone at the front table.  I walked over and sat down. She turned and smiled and said, “hi.”

Wow! She was something wonderful and almost indescribable. OK, She wasn’t amazingly beautiful, but she was definitely pretty. She was about five-feet-six-inches tall and fairly trim but with a nicely shaped figure. Her long, light-brown to dark-blond hair hung down her back. She had the air of a hippy and dressed as though she wanted to be one, although the age of hippies was a few years past.

We didn’t say much that first day but at one point I realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. I got a decent view of the tops of her breasts but I would have had to stand over her to see her nipples. Now I’ve never been one to ignore a cheap thrill. I did try to get a better view a few times, but I didn’t want her to notice so I let it go.

The next week I got to class first. Once I got there I realized I should have held back until she sat down and then I could sit next to her. No problem — she walked in, saw me, came over and sat down next to me.

I said, hey, “I don’t know your name … I’m Nils.”

“I’m Kari,” she said.

It was that day we started working together in class. I don’t recall exactly what we did. I think we were looking over some maps of geological formations.

Having one map for the two of us we moved closer together. She leaned over to look more closely at the map. Oh glory! I had an unencumbered view of her formations. There they were — two objects of my long quest. Once again she had no bra. I don’t know but it almost seemed as if she were presenting her breasts to me.

She had slightly pointy boobs of a nice size. They actually looked somewhat like volcanos with rounded tops. She had areolas the size of silver dollars with inverted nipples.

I tried not to stare but I’d never had such a treat. My penis sprang to life in my jeans. I was glad that I was sitting at a table where no one would notice my hard-on.

I was so hot and bothered I could barely talk after the class. I walked out with her but we didn’t say much more.

I was determined to ask her out so I made a plan for the next week. I hung around in the hall outside the class and as she saw me she greeted me and we walked in together and sat down. It was a warm spring and, once again, she had no bra covering her breasts and a light, loose blouse. After we sat together and started going over something or other, I got a repeat performance.

We walked out together. She asked me where I was headed and I said, “wherever you’re going.”

She smiled at me and said, “isn’t that nice, my own escort.”

I asked her if she’d like to go out the next evening. There weren’t many classes on Friday so Thursday was the start of the weekend for a lot of students. She heartily agreed.

I couldn’t think of anything but Kari for the next 24 hours. I met her at her dorm and we went out for pizza. As we talked she struck me as a sweet but determined girl. Although she looked rather like a hippy she was no airhead, no silly pothead. She was an ardent feminist and struck me as very liberal minded.

We shared many of the same ideas. We even talked about wishing we could have been at Woodstock. Unfortunately it had happened eight years previous and we were just kids at the time. We seemed to have the same eclectic taste in music from classic rock to jazz to classical.

When we got back to her dorm after the movie she also showed that she didn’t mind getting what she wanted. Standing outside the building I was contemplating if I should kiss her goodnight. As I did this she lightly gripped my elbows, pulled me closer and looked up at me, just waiting to be kissed … so I did. First just on the lips but then she put her arms around me and we opened our mouths and entwined our tongues. My head was spinning. I wanted her so bad. I wasn’t going to push the matter, however, as I was seriously into this girl and I didn’t want to screw it up.

We went out again on Saturday and started going to dinner together after our Wednesday class. Our kissing got progressivly longer after each date.

My dorm had an interesting long and narrow room in the front of the building with big windows that let the sun in during the day. It was a secluded part of the building — particularly at the far end — and was often deserted after dark. I lead her to the end and we sat together on one of the couches. We had the same idea and immediately embraced and started kissing. It wasn’t long that I — being fairly sure there was no one around — put my hand up her billowy blouse and finally got my first handful of bare naked breast. The feel of it was extraordinary. Her breasts were just big enough to have a nice weight that made playing with them a lot of fun.

After a bit she whispered in my ear, “please, suck on my nipples.” She pulled down her low-cut blouse exposing  just enough so that I could do her bidding.

Then I got on my knees in front of her. She spread her knees apart so I could get closer. Not hearing anyone nearby I pulled up her blouse and sucked one tit and then the other. She slid down so that her ass was just on the edge of the couch. I let her blouse down and moved up so that I could kiss her. This also brought the bulge in my pants between her legs.

After kissing a few minutes I decided to go for it and pushed my bulge between her legs. I did it gently at first and she responded by rotating her pussy up into me. Responding to that encouragement I pushed my crotch into her and started rubbing up and down. I straightened up a bit and put my hands around her waist and we continued our slow, horizontal dance.

It was, by far, the closest I’d ever come to having sex. I’d pleasured myself hundreds of times before, however none of that was half as enjoyable as fully-clothed foreplay, between Kari’s legs. I looked down into her eyes and saw the same longing as I’m sure she saw in mine.

Suddenly, about 50 feet away, a group of students came through the front doors of the dorm. They didn’t see us in our dark corner but it was enough to scare a little sense into our heads.

We stayed there for about two hours alternating between talking, kissing and some light petting. We didn’t do any more dry humping.

I went back to my room and my roommate was there. I told him that I was going to take a shower. Fortunately no one took showers late in the evening so I was able to jerk myself off in private. All I had to do was replay in my mind sucking Kari’s tits and I was able to cum pretty fast.

Tomorrow, more of the story…

Car sex

Posted in Sex & Marriage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 2009/09/20 by Nils

(Warning: contains descriptions of sex.)

About mid-week the wife says that the kid is going out Friday evening at about 7:30 so that’ll be time for sex. That’s all well and good. And I guess I should be thankful for what I can get. It would be preferable if our love making was frequent enough so that an appointment would not be necessary.

How about a little spontaneity?! OK, I know, spontaneity goes out the window when kids get to be of certain age and continues until they leave the house. By that time you’re lucky if you’re young enough for even semi-regular sex.

Speaking of spontaneity … the most spontaneous and dangerous thing we ever did sexually was in a car. I suppose that may be true for a lot of people. But this instance wasn’t having quick intercourse in the back seat.

One time — before we were married — we were on a trip back home from somewhere. This was before I realized that my wife was rather inhibited.

It was dark. I was driving along a long, straight stretch of highway. There was little traffic around.

I reached over and put my hand between her legs. She said something but I didn’t stop. I started rubbing her. She was a bit surprised by it all but she seemed to like it.

After not too long I slipped my hand under the waistband of her jeans and panties. My fingers felt the mound of her lower tummy and then her pubic hair before finding her clitoris. Just then she unbuttoned her jeans giving me freer access.

She slid down in the seat a bit and spread her knees apart. After working her clit more I pushed my finger into her vagina and started moving in and out. She as very wet.

Every now and then a car would approach and I’d pull my hand out. Fortunately that was necessary just a few times. I stopped purely for safety’s sake. It was so dark no one would have been able to see what I was doing inside.

After the car passed I’d slip my hand under her panties again. I told her to pull her panties down more to allow me better access and an occasional glance at her pussy.

I worked a couple fingers inside her for awhile but then concentrated on her clitoris. After not too long she moaned loudly and clenched her legs together … what she usually did — and does — when she has an orgasm while I’m fingering her pussy.

By now I had a raging hard-on. As she pulled her panties and pants back up and buttoned her jeans I said, “what about me?”

She said, “no, it’s too dangerous and too messy.”

I’d like to say that when we got back to her place we had sex for hours. Unfortunately it was a long time ago and all I remember was fingering her.

I’m reminded of a couple years earlier. That was before I met my wife. I was returning home from an out-of-town business appointment. It was a Saturday and I was casually dressed. I started thinking of a woman I had just started dating. I was running various scenarios through my head as to how I would have sex with her the first time.

It didn’t take much of this daydreaming to give me a serious erection. I started rubbing my crotch now and then as I continued to imagine taking this woman’s clothes off.

It was about a two-hour drive and I just couldn’t get my fantasies of fucking this woman out of my head. I kept driving and kept rubbing. Back then I was a pretty accomplished masturbater and could control myself. But this time — maybe because I was paying more attention to driving — I suddenly realized that I was about to cum in my pants and it was too late to stop it from happening.

Bleh, what a mess — and I was still 45 minutes from home. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable ride. That’s one I wouldn’t forget.

Other than kissing I never had any other sex in a car. Oh well. There are a lot better places.

These days the wife and I stick to the bedroom because that’s where she wants to do it. Years ago we had the “couch position” that she particularly liked. It was nothing complicated. I’d sit on the couch with my legs wide and then she’d sit on my penis facing away from me. She could ride me and I could watch her ass go up and down as my penis went in and out of her … very nice.

As I was saying in the beginning … we had an appointment for sex on Friday night. Unfortunately I got a call from work and something needed to be handled right away, so instead of riding the wife I was riding my damn laptop.

Saturday morning, however, we did do it; missionary style the whole way. Think we’ll do it again this month?