Sex with the near famous – Part 1

How often do you see someone on TV and think, “ya, I’d sure like to do it with her!”  All the time, of course. But the idea of actually having sex with one of those TV babes is pretty ridiculous.

Well, maybe not.

I have my own story. My famous girl isn’t really that famous, but she is on TV regularly and you might have actually heard of her. For now I’m going to call her, “Jeri.”

Now I must admit that I knew Jeri long before she was on TV. I was on my second job just a few years out of college. A few months later Jeri joined the company, her first job just weeks after graduating.

The first day I saw Jeri I wanted her, and bad. She was a tallish, brown-haired beauty. She had long legs, a bodacious  ass, a slim waist and sexy shoulders. Her only shortcoming was that she was flat chested. But it didn’t diminish her sexiness at all. Well, she did wear too-big glasses, but it was the 1980s. You’ll never see her on TV with glasses. For that matter she dyed her gorgeous brown hair blond. That was quite a shame.

Her only real flaw was being a smoker. I had never dated, never even lusted after a girl who smoked. It was just an automatic turnoff for me. But something about Jeri made me want her despite the aroma of Virgina Slims that surrounded her.

I let her get settled into her job before pursing her, but that only amounted to about a month. I realized that I had to get busy because right after Jeri was hired a guy named Ted also came on board. It soon became apparent that Ted also wanted our brown-haired coworker.

At first she was a bit standoffish to both of us. I think she had a “friend” from college she hoped to stay close to, but that apparently didn’t work out. After trying casually just to convince her to get a drink after work and being lightly brushed off I directly asked her out and she said, “I don’t date coworkers.”

Within a week or two Ted, who was one of these somewhat obnoxious, pushy guys who thinks he’s god’s gift, was pursing her just as hard. She may have given him the same line … at first.

In the meantime there was a group of about a dozen of us, single, young and new to the company, who’d hang out and a cozy bar called “Bunny’s.” One night I picked up my friend Greg and we headed to Bunny’s. Ted arrived a short time later. We all had a pretty good buzz going as everyone started to head home about 1 a.m. Greg and I headed out right behind Ted. But Ted pulled out of the lot and headed downtown instead of home. Greg said, “let’s follow him.” We did for a little while but lost him at a red light. But a few minutes later we passed him in front of a closed hotel where the hookers hung out. One of the ladies of the evening was climbing into the passenger’s seat. Greg and I had a good laugh.

A week later Ted, on my recommendation, moved into the second floor of the house I was renting.

In the coming weeks I started to get the impression that Jeri and Ted were getting friendlier at work, but I wasn’t sure. A few weeks after that I was supposed to be on a three-day business trip. I was finished after two days and got home about 10:30 p.m. only to find Jeri’s car parked outside our house. They hadn’t wasted any time. I was pissed. Ted was fucking Jeri instead of me.

They maintained a somewhat undercover relationship (although it was a secret to no one) for at least 18 months. Interestingly, when Jeri wasn’t around, Ted still liked the occasional prostitute. I guess he liked to live dangerously because he also regularly made trips to his hometown, a big city, to score pot.

One day I went into Bunny’s and Ted was there with a some of our coworkers. He looked like someone had shot his dog. I took someone aside and asked what was going on and was told Jeri had just dumped him. I wasn’t surprised and I didn’t have the least bit of sympathy for Ted.

Within another six months both Jeri had Ted had moved on the new jobs in new cities.

Jeri had moved to the closest big city which was about a 90 minute drive away. She would occasionally come back to town to visit with her old buds and that included downing a few drinks at Bunny’s. One Saturday night I walked in and Jeri was with Kim, another coworker. The bar was fairly quiet but a guy started flirting with Kim. Turns out they had dated in high school and Kim was hot to reconnect with the guy. So hot that she asked Jeri if it would be OK if she ditched her. Jeri smiled and said, “OK.”

Jeri turns to me. It’s now just the two of us and it feels a bit awkward.

“So, ” I say, “here we are.”

“Yes, indeed,” says Jeri. “Well, I guess maybe I should head for home.”

“Oh, do you have to? You just got a fresh drink. I can’t be that horrid company, am I?”

“No,” says Jeri. “Honestly, you’re not such a bad guy, Randy.”

“Well, I’m surprised you think that.”

“Why,” asks Jeri. “OK, you were somewhat overly persistent when I first came here. That kind of bothered me. But once I, ahhh, well … Once I started hanging out with Ted a lot I guess you gave up and became a pretty good coworker.”

“Ya, I guess I was a bit persistent. But don’t I get credit for the interest? Doesn’t being, ah, doesn’t being pursued stroke your ego a bit?”

“Maybe I should have looked at it that way,” Jeri says. “I was kind of annoyed when Ted was living upstairs from you. I guess you didn’t really do anything, but sometimes I felt you were trying to get in our way.”

“Hmmm. Maybe at first I kind of thought that, but after awhile I pretty much said, “the heck with it!”

“Well, maybe it would have been better if you had tried harder to get in the way. In the long run…” Jeri’s voice trails off as if she’s thought twice about what she was going to say.

“Ya,” I say. “In the long run what?”

Jeri looks down and shakes her head. “Oh, you know. Ted, well, what can I say. Maybe it didn’t make the most sense that I ended up with him.”

I decide to push this conversation a bit and say, “ya, well, Ted really was in way over his head with you.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jeri asks somewhat incredulously.

“No, he just was … I mean … he just wasn’t good enough for you!”

Quickly changing her mood Jeri says, “oh, you really think so?”

“Well, ya. OK. True. Maybe I have reason not to think that anymore. But face it, you’re smart and beautiful. I was kind of surprised that you’d pick a guy like Ted.”

“Hmmm, how so?”

“Well, really, maybe I should shut up now.”

“No,” says Jeri. “I really want to hear. Remember, I dumped him. Give it to me straight. Tell me like you’re talking to, ah, like you’re B.S.ing with Greg.”

“OK. You asked for it. First off, Ted isn’t, well, he isn’t all that attractive. He’s only a couple inches taller than you and he’s a ginger. Not that there’s anything wrong with redheads per se, but he was just pasty faced and kind of sneery.”

Jeri chuckles. “You know — the last time we went out when I was already starting to think about dumping him — I looked into his face and it dawned on me that he looked like a catfish. And catfish aren’t attractive.”

I start laughing hard at the comparison. “Ohhh, that’s good. And, you know what else? He’s kind of a dork. I’d watch him during company softball games and he moved in a hunching, herky-jerky kind of way.”

“Ya, kind of the way he made, ahh, never mind,” says Jeri.

“You know, sometimes he could be a likable kind of guy but then other times he acted like a pompous jerk and that always bothered me.”

“It started to bother me too,” says Jeri.

“I mean, you struck me early on as a real hard-charging, don’t-get-in-my-way kind of woman. Ted was kind of a chauvinist. I didn’t get that.”

“After awhile I didn’t get it either. You know even liberated women can fall into those old stereotypes. You just seemed to hang around like you were trying to get me to like you bit by bit. Ted came in and swept me off my feet.”

“What? You wanted to be Cinderella?”

“No. I admit it. Ted didn’t fit my character and that’s why I finally broke it off. He thought he could dominate me and, in the long run, he couldn’t.”

“Well, obviously, you’re vastly superior to him in most ways. Was he, ah, nasty to you?”

“No,” says Jeri, “he wasn’t overtly nasty. He just started to get to be emotionally controlling. But I don’t think he’d every intentionally do anything to hurt me.”

“Oh? Hmmmm.”

At that Jeri looks at me quizzically. “What’s that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“What? Come on! Do you know something about Ted I should know?”

“I shouldn’t say anything.”

“No, tell me. I’ll buy you another beer if you tell me,” Jeri says.

I say “OK” and excuse myself to hit the head. As I’m alone in the men’s room I wonder if I should tell her my secret.

I sit back down at our table and take a sip of the fresh beer and look around the bar.”

“OK. Come on! Let’s have it!”

“All right Jeri, you asked for it. You know that Ted lived a bit dangerously? Like his pot habit.”

“I suppose. But I got him to cut way back on that stuff.”

“Well, there was another dangerous activity he liked.”

“Yes?”

I look down at the beer and then back up again and directly into Jeri’s eyes and say, “hookers.”

“WHAT??? What did you say?”

“You heard me right — hookers. Ted liked prostitutes.”

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! That’s not possible,” Jeri says insistently. “How do you know?”

“Well, not long after we all started working here I saw him picking up one in front of the old hotel.”

“No, I don’t believe it. Even if he had, that was before we were dating. And I still don’t believe it.”

“I know he did a few, ah, while you were dating…”

“No, you’re lying. You’re just trying to tear him down because he got to have me and you didn’t. Argh!” Jeri shakes her head and clenches her teeth as if she’s mad at what she’s just said.

“Wanna bet?” I say.

Without hesitating Jeri says, “ya, I’ll bet you.”

“What do you want to bet.”

“Ohhh. This is silly. There’s no way. Hell, I’m so sure of this, if you can prove it then I’ll sleep with you!”

Now this idea quickly catches my interest.

“Reaaallly? You’d, ah….”

“Ya, OK. Yes! If you can prove that Ted used prostitutes then I’ll spend the night with you. But I don’t know how you’re going to prove it. It’s not like we can ask Ted.”

“But we can ask Greg.”

“What?”

“Greg knows all about it. He’ll confirm it.”

Jeri’s demeanor changes slightly as if she’s starting to think she may be painting herself into a corner.

Jeri says. “Well, Greg is my buddy. I know he wouldn’t lie to me. But he isn’t here, and since Kim is probably screwing her old friend this evening that means I have to drive 90 minutes to get back home.”

“Ahhh, you can sleep on my couch if you want.”

“Ha! No, you haven’t won the bet yet. I’d rather sleep in my own bed.”

We chit chat for awhile more as Jeri drinks a cup of coffee and then we both leave Bunnys to go our separate ways — but not before I got Jeri’s phone number.

The next Monday at work I told Greg about running into Jeri and our conversation. I didn’t tell him about the bet, but did mention that she wanted confirmation that we really did see Ted using hookers. So one day after work Greg stopped by my place and we placed a call to Jeri. I hung up without mentioning the bet.

I didn’t want to seem pushy because on a lot of levels I thought that insisting that Jeri fulfill our bet by actually fucking me was way too much to ask. But my thinking went back and forth. Yes it was too much to expect, but then she seemed to really mean what she said and I really wanted to see her naked and be inside her, even if it was just once.

After three weeks I called. I asked if she wanted me to come to her. No. She had a roommate and didn’t want to have to explain it all. She’d come to me. When? She wasn’t sure. She’d get back to me.

She didn’t. I let it roll and roll until six weeks had passed. Finally, I decided if I didn’t push her my chance would be gone so I called again. This time she relented and said that she’d come see me in two Saturdays. I told her that I’d make her dinner. She could fulfill her promise and then head home whatever time she wanted Sunday.

Coming next — Jeri pays off the bet.